Unconditional Love and Boundaries
Learning how to set healthy boundaries on my twin flame journey is one of the biggest and most healing lessons I’ve learned so far. The importance of healthy boundaries wasn’t something I thought about before meeting my twin flame. But now, I can genuinely say that I understand how important boundaries are in my twin flame connection and all my relationships, and every aspect of my life.
Setting healthy boundaries is about self-love and self-worth and putting your own needs first. It’s about standing up for yourself, not defensively or harshly, but in a respectful and loving “I value myself” way.
Along your twin flame journey, you discover that unconditional love does not mean you have to allow disrespectful behavior. Instead, through the unconditional love you find in yourself, you learn the power of self-respect. When something doesn’t feel right in your soul, you honor those feelings by making a change that aligns with your happiness.
Let’s face it, the twin flame journey is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, and often an enormous amount of disappointment. But through it all, the lessons that lead to growth and transformation are the real reason for this beautiful connection. Through these lessons, we learn inner strength, resilience, and, most importantly, self-love.
Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship
So, what exactly are boundaries in a relationship?
We’ve all heard the saying, “Respect yourself, and others will respect you.”
This is the fundamental energy of boundaries. Self-respect!
When you respect yourself and your needs in a relationship, you establish boundaries.
Boundaries define your limits in a relationship. They establish where you draw the line and how much you are willing to give or take before you require things to change. The purpose of boundaries is to teach people how to treat you.
There are both physical and emotional boundaries in a relationship. Physical boundaries involve your personal space, body, and touch. Emotional boundaries are all about your feelings. Whether physical or emotional healthy boundaries define precisely what makes you feel comfortable and what makes you feel uncomfortable.
Healthy boundaries are critical in maintaining your physical, emotional, and mental health in a relationship. They are essential in every relationship, whether with your children, friends, family, or spouse. No matter the nature of your relationship, the need to set boundaries is critical in maintaining a healthy, lasting relationship.
Twin Flames and Healthy Boundaries
When it comes to your twin flame relationship setting healthy boundaries may feel counterintuitive in the beginning. The moment your soul recognizes its other half, feelings of unconditional love overwhelm every aspect of your being.
All you want to do is love your twin flame, and you desperately want your love to be reciprocated. Unfortunately, the more you shower your twin flame with love and affection, the more they run from the connection. This can manifest in different ways. They may physically run by blocking or ghosting you or simply shutting down emotionally, not allowing you to get too close. No matter how they run, their response will cause you great pain, insecurities, and feelings of unworthiness.
The problem is the twin flame connection is not your ordinary relationship. By design, this connection is intended to bring up painful lessons for healing. Often one of the lessons that require healing is related to rejection and abandonment.
These wounds that usually stem from childhood or even past lives come up for healing to address unconscious patterns and self-limiting behaviors. They are unhealthy patterns and programs you’ve been operating from your entire life. They’ve repeatedly been replaying in some capacity in all of your relationships. The purpose of the twin flame connection is to reprogram these behaviors so that you can transform them into the energy of worthiness and self-love.
Unconditional love or doormat?
The more your twin flame runs from the connection, the more you try to prove your love. But usually, that backfires, causing them to run even more. It’s not that they don’t love you or feel the connection. It’s because they love you too much. The power and intensity of the love scare them and cause them to run.
Remember your twin flame is also on a spiritual journey of growth and transformation, but their lessons may look completely different from yours. They don’t necessarily process the connection the same way, causing them to act in very unhealthy ways.
For example, they might make plans with you and cancel at the last minute or not show up; they may ignore your phone calls, emails, and text messages, or even block you on social media. They often hide or lie about their real feelings for you. They are unable to communicate in a healthy mature way. At times, they may even say cruel and hurtful things showing minimal regard for your feelings.
This is done unconsciously to push you away and to push the love away that is causing them so much fear and insecurity. They don’t believe they deserve love, especially not this love. Until they can fully heal, they will continue to push you away by acting in strange and unhealthy ways.
Going Within
Not only do you tolerate this behavior, but you accept it because you believe that unconditional love means it’s ok to be treated like a doormat. You must learn through your healing that you do not have to condone negative behavior in the name of unconditional love and that true unconditional love starts from within with self-love.
In a real twin flame connection, your twin flame is not maliciously trying to hurt you. However, that doesn’t excuse their behavior. Until they can heal and behave respectfully, you have to stand up for yourself by setting boundaries.
Self-love and Self-Respect
Through self-love and self-respect, you learn how to set healthy boundaries. One of the primary purposes of the twin flame connection is to learn self-love. When you love yourself, you respect yourself by putting your own needs and well-being first. By respecting yourself, you demand respect from others, especially your twin flame.
Eventually, you learn through your twin flame’s actions and behavior that you deserve so much more, which forces you to set healthy boundaries. You realize that your twin flame will never respect you if you don’t respect yourself. You are willing to lose your twin flame forever to honor your own needs. No matter what, you still love your twin flame, but you decide to love yourself more by setting healthy boundaries.
Establishing healthy boundaries is precisely what your connection requires to move forward into union. Setting healthy boundaries is the only way to show yourself and your twin flame unconditional love if they take you for granted. You and your twin flame are one. When you love yourself, you love your twin flame.
10 Ways to Set and Maintain Healthy Boundaries:
1. Practice Self-Reflection
One of the first steps in setting healthy boundaries in your twin flame connection is self-reflection. Self-reflection allows you to take accountably for yourself by being aware of your character, actions, and motives. This is done by deliberately monitoring your thoughts, emotions, decisions, and behaviors to help you understand how you interact with your twin flame.
When you go within and acknowledge your energy, it lets you know what you are projecting into the connection. Self-reflection prevents you from blaming your twin and allows you to communicate your needs and desires in a calm, straightforward way.
2. Give Space
The most effective way to set healthy boundaries in your twin flame connection is simply by giving your twin flame space. When you give your twin flame space, it allows them room to heal and lets them know that you are capable of walking away from the connection. If you are always there for them, calling or texting them and trying to spend time with them, they take your love for granted.
When they behave unhealthily, they have no reason to change if there are no repercussions. They know that you love them, so giving them space shows self-respect, self-discipline, and mental strength. By giving them space, you establish clear boundaries by saying, I love you, but I don’t need you.
3. Know your limits
Examine past situations with your twin flame where you were caused discomfort, anger, resentment, unworthiness, disappointment, or any negative feelings. These feelings most likely were caused by your limits being crossed. By understanding your limitations, you can set clear boundaries to ensure that you are prioritizing your feelings ahead of your twin flames.
4. Be Honest with Yourself
Because of the unconditional love, you feel for your twin flame, you may be compelled to make excuses when they behave in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. When you are honest with yourself, you acknowledge any feelings of negativity that their actions cause, and you stand up for yourself by setting boundaries. This can only happen when you are honest with yourself and not living in a state of denial.
5. Take it Slow
At the beginning of your twin flame journey, you will probably have little to no boundaries in place. As you go through your spiritual awakening and healing, you will slowly begin to create boundaries to align with the new person you are transforming into. Taking it slow allows you to go at a comfortable pace without feeling too overwhelmed with emotions of fear and doubt.
6. Be Consistent
When you establish a boundary, keep it consistent. Allowing your boundaries to slide gives the wrong impression to your twin flame. When you stay consistent, it helps reinforce how serious you are about your boundaries. Your twin flame will know that you mean business and will respect you more for standing your ground.
7. Clear Communication
Communication in any relationship is crucial but especially in your twin flame connection. The twin flame connection is full of emotional ups and downs, misunderstandings, fears, and insecurities. Acknowledging your limits is not enough. You must be clear and concise when communicating what you are willing and not willing to tolerate.
8. Be Assertive
Once you set your boundaries, you must stay assertive. If your twin flame oversteps your boundaries, make sure they understand that they have crossed the line. Being assertive can be scary, especially when you are not used to speaking up for yourself. But being assertive lets them know that you will not be treated like a doormat.
9. Trust in the connection
The twin flame connection is the most challenging experience you will ever face in your life. There is so much doubt and insecurity it can cause you to act in ways you would never behave in other relationships. You allow your twin flame to get away with so much out of sheer fear of losing them and losing the love.
When you trust in your twin flame connection and trust in the power of the love, you don’t allow fear to drive your decisions. When you trust in the connection, you can set boundaries that will enable you to let go of control because you believe in destiny. You understand that standing up for yourself will not push your twin flame away but will only bring you closer.
10. Self-love
Self-love is last on the list because everything comes down to self-love. If you love yourself, setting healthy boundaries is easy. To stand up for yourself becomes a natural state of being. When you love yourself, you never allow another person, not even your twin flame, to treat you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Self-love is the foundation for establishing healthy boundaries and all aspects of your twin flame connection.
Unconditional Love and Boundaries!
Boundaries are important because they establish a basic guideline of how you want to be treated. Because twin flame love is potent and is unlike anything you have ever experienced, it makes the need for healthy boundaries even more critical.
Since this is a journey of growth and transformation, you are forced to learn and grow. Through healthy boundaries, you evolve and become the spiritual being that you are here on Earth to become.